Friday, February 10, 2006
Three and a half hours with Cynthia at Mac's
I am tired and about to close my eyes and fall asleep. But before I surrender to my restlessness, I must blog about what happened today.
I was really happy to receive your message Cynthia. I was just thinking of you last night, about to ask you out. And what a conincidence you asked me out today. This phenomena keeps happening between us. I really enjoyed hanging out with you today. Can you believe this... we sat at Macs for three and a half hours chatting.
Your colourful life and fencing really made me very interested. Our opinions on certain stuff are also very similar. Haha... if you know what I mean. You can be my potential stead, Cyn... okok just kidding. Anyway congrats for winning a gold for your fencing... I hope you can clinch more golds in your days to come. All the best and stay gang-ho. Keep shouting and doing your "victory" sign when you score.
Miss those days when you were sitting next to me in class. Those were part of my best times in IJ. I can't forget ah-choo your toy dog, can't forget how you enjoy pinching me and biting me and pulling my pinafore. And also how sometimes we were caught in the midst of our funny acts by the teachers - vividly remember Mrs Tang and her " like poles repel". Bet you will be laughing out loud now if you are reading this. Cyn, you rock! Can't deny the fact that you get pretty crazy... and cause me to be a bit wonky... but I enjoy our little bits of insanity!
Speaking about insanity. Today, experimented on some "guinea pigs". Shouldn't say more... it's still a good laugh thinking about how some people reacted - irritated, disgusted, ears turning red. I enjoy seeing people's reactions to stuff. Ok... hope you people don't get too offended. I was just playing, with no ill intentions and at nobody's expense.
After being with Cynthia for 3 and a half hours, I guess I will get more insane... The way you can influence me, Cyn... sigh... so bear with me till this "hyper-ness" wears out. :)
I am tired and about to close my eyes and fall asleep. But before I surrender to my restlessness, I must blog about what happened today.
I was really happy to receive your message Cynthia. I was just thinking of you last night, about to ask you out. And what a conincidence you asked me out today. This phenomena keeps happening between us. I really enjoyed hanging out with you today. Can you believe this... we sat at Macs for three and a half hours chatting.
Your colourful life and fencing really made me very interested. Our opinions on certain stuff are also very similar. Haha... if you know what I mean. You can be my potential stead, Cyn... okok just kidding. Anyway congrats for winning a gold for your fencing... I hope you can clinch more golds in your days to come. All the best and stay gang-ho. Keep shouting and doing your "victory" sign when you score.
Miss those days when you were sitting next to me in class. Those were part of my best times in IJ. I can't forget ah-choo your toy dog, can't forget how you enjoy pinching me and biting me and pulling my pinafore. And also how sometimes we were caught in the midst of our funny acts by the teachers - vividly remember Mrs Tang and her " like poles repel". Bet you will be laughing out loud now if you are reading this. Cyn, you rock! Can't deny the fact that you get pretty crazy... and cause me to be a bit wonky... but I enjoy our little bits of insanity!
Speaking about insanity. Today, experimented on some "guinea pigs". Shouldn't say more... it's still a good laugh thinking about how some people reacted - irritated, disgusted, ears turning red. I enjoy seeing people's reactions to stuff. Ok... hope you people don't get too offended. I was just playing, with no ill intentions and at nobody's expense.
After being with Cynthia for 3 and a half hours, I guess I will get more insane... The way you can influence me, Cyn... sigh... so bear with me till this "hyper-ness" wears out. :)
what we could have been, 11:23 PM.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Hills and Wine
Yesterday, I went to do navigation at Bukit Timah hill. I was extremely fun. The path we took brought me so close to nature. Every turn is something different to see... although everywhere seems to be an overgrowth of trees. There were "surprise" ponds and caves ( or do you call them tunnels?), funny trees in the middle of the path. Funny roots that twine around. Despite it being tiring ( there were so many steps to climb at times), it was fun and the element of adventure spurs me on to explore every turn.
My group consist of three other guys (Tai Yong, Wei Long and Sheng Long) who are considerably one of the tallest people in ODAC. Right, and I discovered that they take bigger steps. So approximately I will take two steps more than them for the same distance. We made a map of our route. A table rather... and when we reached the submit, we traded maps with Hazel's group. Yes, I shall repeat this message we sent to Hazel. " If we followed the bearings on your map, we will probably be dashing into bushes or rolling down hills..." We were the second group to reach the submit yet we were last to arrive at the start point. Hmm.... what does this say about your map? :)
Sorry girls, especially to Ellise and Ruo Yun, for not turning up for the gathering. Did you people have fun today? Hope you did.
Weng, like I told you, my phone's inbox is full of your messages. I need to clear them! I didn't tell you this: I was quite reluctant to delete them because your messages encourages me. I read them over and over. Like you said, it won't take a short time for me to erase him off.
Went for Chua's class today. He offered us wine... I was nearly drunk... my face feels hot and red after downing that amount he poured in my glass over and over... Luckily I rejected the XO he offered... otherwise... When I reach home, I was still red in the face... LOL. the China wine is nice...
Mum's cooking tonight. I can't wait for dinner. No matter what other's say about your cooking, to me, the food you cooked is the best to fill my stomach and my heart.
Yesterday, I went to do navigation at Bukit Timah hill. I was extremely fun. The path we took brought me so close to nature. Every turn is something different to see... although everywhere seems to be an overgrowth of trees. There were "surprise" ponds and caves ( or do you call them tunnels?), funny trees in the middle of the path. Funny roots that twine around. Despite it being tiring ( there were so many steps to climb at times), it was fun and the element of adventure spurs me on to explore every turn.
My group consist of three other guys (Tai Yong, Wei Long and Sheng Long) who are considerably one of the tallest people in ODAC. Right, and I discovered that they take bigger steps. So approximately I will take two steps more than them for the same distance. We made a map of our route. A table rather... and when we reached the submit, we traded maps with Hazel's group. Yes, I shall repeat this message we sent to Hazel. " If we followed the bearings on your map, we will probably be dashing into bushes or rolling down hills..." We were the second group to reach the submit yet we were last to arrive at the start point. Hmm.... what does this say about your map? :)
Sorry girls, especially to Ellise and Ruo Yun, for not turning up for the gathering. Did you people have fun today? Hope you did.
Weng, like I told you, my phone's inbox is full of your messages. I need to clear them! I didn't tell you this: I was quite reluctant to delete them because your messages encourages me. I read them over and over. Like you said, it won't take a short time for me to erase him off.
Went for Chua's class today. He offered us wine... I was nearly drunk... my face feels hot and red after downing that amount he poured in my glass over and over... Luckily I rejected the XO he offered... otherwise... When I reach home, I was still red in the face... LOL. the China wine is nice...
Mum's cooking tonight. I can't wait for dinner. No matter what other's say about your cooking, to me, the food you cooked is the best to fill my stomach and my heart.
what we could have been, 5:11 PM.
Friday, February 03, 2006
AJC Cross Country 2006
I dedcided that I should cheer up and stop sulking. At least if i try to make myself be seen as happy, I will be able to cheer myself up.
Today was cross country. I decided that I should run this year instead of walking like last year. My position improved 300+.. this year my position is 163 or something. Not bad... considering the fact that I am a slow runner.
Anyway, something spurred me on towards the last 200m. Guess what? The thing that spurred me on was either you or your eye-candy. I spotted your eye candy and she asked me to jia you. I over-took her and yeah sprinted. Not because of her "jia you" but because I don't want to lose to your eye-candy. I didn't... but being pessimistic, one can always say she gave in to me.
Thanks loads to Shi Yun who was ready to run with me. And also thanks to Marian who initially intended to walk but finally decided to run with me. Marian, you could cover much more without my hindrance. You could have been top twenty if you wanted to. I was looking for someone to run with... my other classmates intended to walk. I was quite hesitant at first to find anyone to run with at all because I don't wish to hold anyone back since I already know that I am not good for long distances. That's probably the reason why I did not want to run with the other odac girls. In anyway, we managed to over-take loads of people. Yeps, quite mean to say this but then over-taking people gives me this short-lived sense of satisfaction at that moment when I surpass.
I was still not satisfied for coming in so late. However, I overtook some people... and over-taking yor eye-candy makes me feel victorious.
I dedcided that I should cheer up and stop sulking. At least if i try to make myself be seen as happy, I will be able to cheer myself up.
Today was cross country. I decided that I should run this year instead of walking like last year. My position improved 300+.. this year my position is 163 or something. Not bad... considering the fact that I am a slow runner.
Anyway, something spurred me on towards the last 200m. Guess what? The thing that spurred me on was either you or your eye-candy. I spotted your eye candy and she asked me to jia you. I over-took her and yeah sprinted. Not because of her "jia you" but because I don't want to lose to your eye-candy. I didn't... but being pessimistic, one can always say she gave in to me.
Thanks loads to Shi Yun who was ready to run with me. And also thanks to Marian who initially intended to walk but finally decided to run with me. Marian, you could cover much more without my hindrance. You could have been top twenty if you wanted to. I was looking for someone to run with... my other classmates intended to walk. I was quite hesitant at first to find anyone to run with at all because I don't wish to hold anyone back since I already know that I am not good for long distances. That's probably the reason why I did not want to run with the other odac girls. In anyway, we managed to over-take loads of people. Yeps, quite mean to say this but then over-taking people gives me this short-lived sense of satisfaction at that moment when I surpass.
I was still not satisfied for coming in so late. However, I overtook some people... and over-taking yor eye-candy makes me feel victorious.
what we could have been, 9:59 PM.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
3 messages in 24 hours
Messages from Weng:
"...Don't be upset dear! Call me if you need. But its impossible to remove him so quickly, take your time alright!"
"Mm if thats really the case dont let that affect you. The more he tries...the more you dont. No point getting angry and upset over such a guy."
Thanks for your messages before I fall asleep. Thanks for being "here" with me. :) When I feel down thinking of " that thing I told you" I just have to think of you and it makes me feel better already. Anyway, for such a long time already, I have failed to get answers. I am hesitant about how I shall face this situation but then I think I shall try to ignor it as far as I can until it fades or the definite answer comes. As usual. *Hugs*
Message from Yuting:
"hey yuting here... How come dint meet up during e cny hols?"
I am not going to reply you so soon. I know, I am showing some attitude her. Sorry to say I was a little aggitated receiving this message. Not in my top moods and your message sounds quite demanding. Do you demand an answer? You pushed away when we requested for you to contact Ms Yap. I already said I am going to Malaysia, yet I still tried contacting Ms Yap. Ms Yap did not reply until tuesday afternoon. Tuesday morning, I tried to call your house, your handphone and your mum's handphone. I could not get through both handphones and you did not pick up your phone at home. I was not that free... I reached home only at two thirty am on tuesday. Monday I was in Malaysia. Is this sufficient explanation for the message you sent me? Anyway, no hard feelings Yuting... hard feelings will be gone in no time... in fact it is already half gone.
uncertainty?
I wasn't in my usual happy mood today. I was cheered up. Then I saw you... and I needed some cheering up again.
The cheer-uppers:Had 3 hr of break in a row today. So I went to the reading room hoping to complete some physics. All of the "econs drop-outs" from 2105 were there. I peeled an orange to spur me on to draw the graph. After completing the graph, I shared out the oranges with the people. Then my second orange... ate it by myself. Got to know this person called Zheng Hui. I think he must have been too tempted by the oranges, he went to NTUC to buy 2 watermelons and a bunch of Bananas. Gail started to think dirty... haha but then I laughed along with her. "Can I break your banana" "Can I eat your banana" " Do you want your banana" " Eat my banana and my two watermelons" quoted from Zheng Hui. Then we were nearly late for lessons so Zheng Hui was left in the canteen to do the clear up.
Anyway, I know that I keep sulking today. Sorry for that. I was not angry... cannot deny the fact that I am quite upset though. Perhaps I think I am unsure of how I want to go on, what kind of attitude and mindset do I want to have when I face you. I have no idea. I am upset. Sometimes I wonder if you are toying with my feelings. I guess what really made me upset was that and also this feeling of uncertainty. You make me so unsure. Sometimes you can be so fun. Sometimes what you said can be so cruel though you may not have done it intentionally. Or perhaps you have... I need something clearer. So I would not be so unsure.
I will try to avoid sulking...
Messages from Weng:
"...Don't be upset dear! Call me if you need. But its impossible to remove him so quickly, take your time alright!"
"Mm if thats really the case dont let that affect you. The more he tries...the more you dont. No point getting angry and upset over such a guy."
Thanks for your messages before I fall asleep. Thanks for being "here" with me. :) When I feel down thinking of " that thing I told you" I just have to think of you and it makes me feel better already. Anyway, for such a long time already, I have failed to get answers. I am hesitant about how I shall face this situation but then I think I shall try to ignor it as far as I can until it fades or the definite answer comes. As usual. *Hugs*
Message from Yuting:
"hey yuting here... How come dint meet up during e cny hols?"
I am not going to reply you so soon. I know, I am showing some attitude her. Sorry to say I was a little aggitated receiving this message. Not in my top moods and your message sounds quite demanding. Do you demand an answer? You pushed away when we requested for you to contact Ms Yap. I already said I am going to Malaysia, yet I still tried contacting Ms Yap. Ms Yap did not reply until tuesday afternoon. Tuesday morning, I tried to call your house, your handphone and your mum's handphone. I could not get through both handphones and you did not pick up your phone at home. I was not that free... I reached home only at two thirty am on tuesday. Monday I was in Malaysia. Is this sufficient explanation for the message you sent me? Anyway, no hard feelings Yuting... hard feelings will be gone in no time... in fact it is already half gone.
uncertainty?
I wasn't in my usual happy mood today. I was cheered up. Then I saw you... and I needed some cheering up again.
The cheer-uppers:Had 3 hr of break in a row today. So I went to the reading room hoping to complete some physics. All of the "econs drop-outs" from 2105 were there. I peeled an orange to spur me on to draw the graph. After completing the graph, I shared out the oranges with the people. Then my second orange... ate it by myself. Got to know this person called Zheng Hui. I think he must have been too tempted by the oranges, he went to NTUC to buy 2 watermelons and a bunch of Bananas. Gail started to think dirty... haha but then I laughed along with her. "Can I break your banana" "Can I eat your banana" " Do you want your banana" " Eat my banana and my two watermelons" quoted from Zheng Hui. Then we were nearly late for lessons so Zheng Hui was left in the canteen to do the clear up.
Anyway, I know that I keep sulking today. Sorry for that. I was not angry... cannot deny the fact that I am quite upset though. Perhaps I think I am unsure of how I want to go on, what kind of attitude and mindset do I want to have when I face you. I have no idea. I am upset. Sometimes I wonder if you are toying with my feelings. I guess what really made me upset was that and also this feeling of uncertainty. You make me so unsure. Sometimes you can be so fun. Sometimes what you said can be so cruel though you may not have done it intentionally. Or perhaps you have... I need something clearer. So I would not be so unsure.
I will try to avoid sulking...
what we could have been, 6:43 PM.
uncertainty?
I wasn't in my usual happy mood today. I was cheered up. Then I saw you... and I needed some cheering up again.
The cheer-uppers:
Had 3 hr of break in a row today. So I went to the reading room hoping to complete some physics. All of the "econs drop-outs" from 2105 were there. I peeled an orange to spur me on to draw the graph. After completing the graph, I shared out the oranges with the people. Then my second orange... ate it by myself. Got to know this person called Zheng Hui. I think he must have been too tempted by the oranges, he went to NTUC to buy 2 watermelons and a bunch of Bananas. Gail started to think dirty... haha but then I laughed along with her. "Can I break your banana" "Can I eat your banana" " Do you want your banana" " Eat my banana and my two watermelons" quoted from Zheng Hui. Then we were nearly late for lessons so Zheng Hui was left in the canteen to do the clear up.
Anyway, I know that I keep sulking today. Sorry for that. I was not angry... cannot deny the fact that I am quite upset though. Perhaps I think I am unsure of how I want to go on, what kind of attitude and mindset do I want to have when I face you. I have no idea. I am upset. Sometimes I wonder if you are toying with my feelings. I guess what really made me upset was that and also this feeling of uncertainty. You make me so unsure. Sometimes you can be so fun. Sometimes what you said can be so cruel though you may not have done it intentionally. Or perhaps you have... I need something clearer. So I would not be so unsure.
I will try to avoid sulking...
I wasn't in my usual happy mood today. I was cheered up. Then I saw you... and I needed some cheering up again.
The cheer-uppers:
Had 3 hr of break in a row today. So I went to the reading room hoping to complete some physics. All of the "econs drop-outs" from 2105 were there. I peeled an orange to spur me on to draw the graph. After completing the graph, I shared out the oranges with the people. Then my second orange... ate it by myself. Got to know this person called Zheng Hui. I think he must have been too tempted by the oranges, he went to NTUC to buy 2 watermelons and a bunch of Bananas. Gail started to think dirty... haha but then I laughed along with her. "Can I break your banana" "Can I eat your banana" " Do you want your banana" " Eat my banana and my two watermelons" quoted from Zheng Hui. Then we were nearly late for lessons so Zheng Hui was left in the canteen to do the clear up.
Anyway, I know that I keep sulking today. Sorry for that. I was not angry... cannot deny the fact that I am quite upset though. Perhaps I think I am unsure of how I want to go on, what kind of attitude and mindset do I want to have when I face you. I have no idea. I am upset. Sometimes I wonder if you are toying with my feelings. I guess what really made me upset was that and also this feeling of uncertainty. You make me so unsure. Sometimes you can be so fun. Sometimes what you said can be so cruel though you may not have done it intentionally. Or perhaps you have... I need something clearer. So I would not be so unsure.
I will try to avoid sulking...
what we could have been, 6:20 PM.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Mood: poor quality red wine
Though I know it is going to hurt but I still feel like I want to rip you out of my heart. Yes, the pain will exist but only for short term... that is if I succeed in ripping you out once and for all.
This is not all your fault. If there is anyone to be blamed for this, I guess the person would be me. Hate to admit... but I guess there is no one else to blame. I am deceiving myself, yet, telling myself that I hate you makes me feel much better. I hate you.
I would rather you tell me immediately straight in my face that you don't like me now and would never ever like me in the future too. I would rather... at least that would make me tear you out faster. Do me a favour for friendship's sake... save me from this unpredictability you are causing me. I hate this mental torture you caused.
Though I know it is going to hurt but I still feel like I want to rip you out of my heart. Yes, the pain will exist but only for short term... that is if I succeed in ripping you out once and for all.
This is not all your fault. If there is anyone to be blamed for this, I guess the person would be me. Hate to admit... but I guess there is no one else to blame. I am deceiving myself, yet, telling myself that I hate you makes me feel much better. I hate you.
I would rather you tell me immediately straight in my face that you don't like me now and would never ever like me in the future too. I would rather... at least that would make me tear you out faster. Do me a favour for friendship's sake... save me from this unpredictability you are causing me. I hate this mental torture you caused.
what we could have been, 11:04 PM.
