Thursday, February 02, 2006
uncertainty?
I wasn't in my usual happy mood today. I was cheered up. Then I saw you... and I needed some cheering up again.
The cheer-uppers:
Had 3 hr of break in a row today. So I went to the reading room hoping to complete some physics. All of the "econs drop-outs" from 2105 were there. I peeled an orange to spur me on to draw the graph. After completing the graph, I shared out the oranges with the people. Then my second orange... ate it by myself. Got to know this person called Zheng Hui. I think he must have been too tempted by the oranges, he went to NTUC to buy 2 watermelons and a bunch of Bananas. Gail started to think dirty... haha but then I laughed along with her. "Can I break your banana" "Can I eat your banana" " Do you want your banana" " Eat my banana and my two watermelons" quoted from Zheng Hui. Then we were nearly late for lessons so Zheng Hui was left in the canteen to do the clear up.
Anyway, I know that I keep sulking today. Sorry for that. I was not angry... cannot deny the fact that I am quite upset though. Perhaps I think I am unsure of how I want to go on, what kind of attitude and mindset do I want to have when I face you. I have no idea. I am upset. Sometimes I wonder if you are toying with my feelings. I guess what really made me upset was that and also this feeling of uncertainty. You make me so unsure. Sometimes you can be so fun. Sometimes what you said can be so cruel though you may not have done it intentionally. Or perhaps you have... I need something clearer. So I would not be so unsure.
I will try to avoid sulking...
I wasn't in my usual happy mood today. I was cheered up. Then I saw you... and I needed some cheering up again.
The cheer-uppers:
Had 3 hr of break in a row today. So I went to the reading room hoping to complete some physics. All of the "econs drop-outs" from 2105 were there. I peeled an orange to spur me on to draw the graph. After completing the graph, I shared out the oranges with the people. Then my second orange... ate it by myself. Got to know this person called Zheng Hui. I think he must have been too tempted by the oranges, he went to NTUC to buy 2 watermelons and a bunch of Bananas. Gail started to think dirty... haha but then I laughed along with her. "Can I break your banana" "Can I eat your banana" " Do you want your banana" " Eat my banana and my two watermelons" quoted from Zheng Hui. Then we were nearly late for lessons so Zheng Hui was left in the canteen to do the clear up.
Anyway, I know that I keep sulking today. Sorry for that. I was not angry... cannot deny the fact that I am quite upset though. Perhaps I think I am unsure of how I want to go on, what kind of attitude and mindset do I want to have when I face you. I have no idea. I am upset. Sometimes I wonder if you are toying with my feelings. I guess what really made me upset was that and also this feeling of uncertainty. You make me so unsure. Sometimes you can be so fun. Sometimes what you said can be so cruel though you may not have done it intentionally. Or perhaps you have... I need something clearer. So I would not be so unsure.
I will try to avoid sulking...
what we could have been, 6:20 PM.
