Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I don't want to compare and I don't like to anyway. I guess it has been a long time since I sincerely want to know how much somebody got for their exams and see whether they have beaten me. I simply am more concern over my own grades now. even if I ask people about their grades, it was just like asking for the sake of asking. Can't be bothered to take it to heart. And I guess I have become happier.
Well, recently I got pretty worried when I was doing paper 3 of Nov 2004 for physics and got a shock after seeing the number of circles I have accumulated on the question numbers. Those are the questions that I can't answer. And for a moment, I thought that I have revised my physics. I am quite loss as to what to do next. Do more papers, or revise again. I feel as if those things I have revised has gone down the gutter. Time was lost unknowingly with these revisions which wasn't 100% efficient. Scary.
Then I look at my friends and I see them doing so much more than me. And we all have 24hrs a day and they live further from school than me. they seem to be able to do those questions I could not. And what are these implications? It is freaking me out and I am feeling very de-moralised again.
I should be reminding myself not to neglate chemistry and maths while doing all these mugging for physics. To me, physics seems easier to do and I can cover more in the same time frame as compared to when I do maths or chemistry. It gives me this sense of achievement. I guess I really need more practise for maths and chemistry but most of the time I will get stuck and then I will be wasting a lot of time. It is somehow unpleasant to see questions in which you are unable to complete and that hinders you from trying further and doing more or even to the extent of working on that subject the next time.
Well, I don't mean to compare with my classmates now, in terms of who study more. It simply upsets me and gives me no positive outcome by comparing our studying progress in which there are many factors which differs. I can only urge myself not to unawaringly have thoughts of " How come X can cover so much, revise so much in such a short time while I can only do so much." Irritating thoughts.
"Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me."
-Eminem: Stan
Well, recently I got pretty worried when I was doing paper 3 of Nov 2004 for physics and got a shock after seeing the number of circles I have accumulated on the question numbers. Those are the questions that I can't answer. And for a moment, I thought that I have revised my physics. I am quite loss as to what to do next. Do more papers, or revise again. I feel as if those things I have revised has gone down the gutter. Time was lost unknowingly with these revisions which wasn't 100% efficient. Scary.
Then I look at my friends and I see them doing so much more than me. And we all have 24hrs a day and they live further from school than me. they seem to be able to do those questions I could not. And what are these implications? It is freaking me out and I am feeling very de-moralised again.
I should be reminding myself not to neglate chemistry and maths while doing all these mugging for physics. To me, physics seems easier to do and I can cover more in the same time frame as compared to when I do maths or chemistry. It gives me this sense of achievement. I guess I really need more practise for maths and chemistry but most of the time I will get stuck and then I will be wasting a lot of time. It is somehow unpleasant to see questions in which you are unable to complete and that hinders you from trying further and doing more or even to the extent of working on that subject the next time.
Well, I don't mean to compare with my classmates now, in terms of who study more. It simply upsets me and gives me no positive outcome by comparing our studying progress in which there are many factors which differs. I can only urge myself not to unawaringly have thoughts of " How come X can cover so much, revise so much in such a short time while I can only do so much." Irritating thoughts.
"Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me."
-Eminem: Stan
what we could have been, 11:55 PM.
