“Sorry” is a difficult word to say. But I just the real difficulty lies in saying it with true pure sincerity. I guess most of the time people say “sorry” to ease themselves from guilt and to make themselves feel better. It is more like saying it for themselves and not for the second party. Of course, this happens unconsciously mostly.
Sometimes I think the on we should say “sorry” TO is ourselves, followed by our immediate families. We sometimes hurt or harm ourselves with or without knowing. The common ones like the use harmful substances, otherwise depriving ourselves of food or over-working our body. It hurts our health and are we in the right to be doing such? So not only are we sorry to our own self but also our parents and people who took pains to bring us up.
Yet, on the other hand, I guess the one we are always truly sorry ABOUT is again ourselves. Self-pity was one emotion I strongly didn’t believe I possessed 2years ago. To think about it now, perhaps it has been there all the time. The thought of ‘I am always the victim’ never ceased to fill my thoughts without me knowing it, whenever I feel bitter, sad, angry, jealous or even disappointed. It is one emotion that will cause negative characters such as being selfish, un-caring and un-thoughtful. But of course, are we constantly aware of its existence?
No offence to anyone, I am just typing this entry to remind myself to say “sorry” with sincerity to the party I have hurt and not to lessen the burden of my own guilt and fall into self-pity. I would have to lay down my own ego and say it from my heart without any tinge self-pity involved.
For now, to whom do I sincerely feel sorry towards?
what we could have been, 11:09 AM.