Saturday, September 29, 2007
Physical pain only serves as a distraction from a deeper, more lethal sort of pain.
A new sensation... this time I think it hurts in a different way. I winced when the pain came. It came in short impulses. It didn't last and it doesn't show. But I start to think that it is more painful. Accidentally scarred... just a small mark. Probably it will go soon.
Warped.
A new sensation... this time I think it hurts in a different way. I winced when the pain came. It came in short impulses. It didn't last and it doesn't show. But I start to think that it is more painful. Accidentally scarred... just a small mark. Probably it will go soon.
Warped.
what we could have been, 3:37 PM.
Friday, September 28, 2007
T's Waltz by Akira Senju
Heard this song from the jap drama "Strawberry on the Shortcake" (a.k.a SOS). Really like the sad melody. Someone teach me how to play.
Heard this song from the jap drama "Strawberry on the Shortcake" (a.k.a SOS). Really like the sad melody. Someone teach me how to play.
what we could have been, 10:49 PM.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Ultimate Challenge 2007
Supposedly to be a 2 days-1night camp but the actual highlight of UC was the run which the group completed in 5hours 26 minutes. Oh yes, my group is called Hwarang(Click to find out what's that).
21st Sept
Training was as per normal and we celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival after training with mooncakes, sparklers and games.
22nd Sept
We did PT first thing in the morning and then carried on to breakfast. After breakfast we played some light games and continued to lunch and then watched a korean movie called "Spin Kick". Like the title suggests, it is a tkd movie.
After the movie, the UC run started. We were to put on sparring padding and helmet plus carry a handmitt with us. We ate bananas, did some warm up and stretching and soon the run begin. We jogged up to Nanyang house via the long flight of stairs we used for UC trainings and ran down the slope, went around SRC compound and reached our first station which I believe to be at the carpark where the professors live.
Station one included doing 30 push-up, sit-up, burpees at one lamp post, 20 of each at the next and 10 at the third. Part of my bao-bei shoes' sole came off and I was quite disturbed by it. After which, we continue to run all the way to NIE, running up another flight of stairs along the way. The first station was alreday tiring and I wondered how I was going to complete the run since my stamina is so lousy. That thought kept occuring to me.
Station two was a foot work station. We were required to complete a set of footwork along the stretch. Station 2 was also where we had our water point. I didn't dare drink too much water, being afraid that a stitch will work in. After the not very long water break, we continue to jog to ADM building for our third station.
Station three was a kicking station. We did 30 of each of the kicks on both legs. Short turning stomach level, short turning head level, long turning stomach level, long turning head level, short slamming, long slamming, slide in turning, side step turning. Thats what I can remember. In my opinion, that was the most tiring station. My mouth was really dry and I felt exhausted. Although station three is not a water point, I was really glad that we were given water to drink. Water indeed taste good at that time! Soon after, we carried on to jog up the slope at the edge of hall 2 all the way to LT1 near NY Audi. Totally felt like walking up the slope but we were reminded that if we walk, our friends behind us will suffer. I think that was some sort of motivation, to know that I am not the only one feeling tired.
Station four was a sparring session. I think that this was an interesting station. First we got into groups of 5 and 4 people will surround one person. The 4 will start to shout kicks and hold out handmitts and the centre person is suppose to perform the kick. That is really something new to me and I think it is a good way to train reaction. The second part, we were to do rotation sparring. During the course, I kicked a white belter, who may be taller but obviously appear thinner, she fell and slid along the tiles. Yes, I reflected and felt sorry. Even with padding on I think I should practise caution while sparring with a person new to sparring. Still feeling bad over it although she claimed that she was alright. Nevertheless, sparring was a tiring event. Just as good as sprinting 100m again and again. After the session we had our water break and there were water coolers around. Cold and nice water. Even so, I still went to the sink to drink due to the long queue. Kept telling myself to control my water intake... sip slowly. We continued on to station five running downslope this time to some open space car park near the cultural centre (not sure if that's the name).
When we reached station five, it was already dark. Station five is another kicking station. However this station coordinates our footwork and kicking techniques. The lot was split into two - kickers and holders. The holders were to form two spaced out lines, each row facing a different direction. From there the kickers will performed a series of kicks while running down the two rows. 3 sets each leg of low turning, 2 sets each leg of slamming and another 3 sets each side of low turning follwed by slamming whereby the holders will alternate themselves in the way they hold the handmitt. That's what I can remember in my half-drowsy state. Yes, I was half-drowsy by then. I took off my shoes and socks during the front part, afraid that my shoe will come off halfway, and that was a mistake. It caused me blisters on both my feet so I decided to put on my shoes for the rest of the kicks. By that time, I believe everyone was really exhausted. We were motivated by being asked "Who is this challenge for?" and I think we all answered "For myself!" Finishing that station and sharing among the lot, the little water we were given, we continue to jog or at least attempt at jogging upslope back to SRC area.
We reached the slope of Nanyang house and we were asked to sprint up the slope to complete the run for UC and reach the finale. Guess what the finale was? Haha. We are suppose to break planks. The sprint was terrible... I believe I didn't even sprint. My legs felt leaded already and I think the most I did was to run. Reached the top of the slope, I think I cannot even focus my sight already. Saw someone holding a plank. Did a long turning kick with my right. First kick and the plank broke. I was really proud of myslef. Perhaps to many it was no great feat but that was my first time trying to break a plank and I did it in my first attempt, one kick, the plank broke. I completed UC!!!
Maybe it didn't take as serious a toll on my body as when I joined Race Adventura when I had very bad muscle cramps. Probably I have learnt how to prepare my body better for a physically demanding activity. But I guess the difference is that, I think I truly felt motivated to carry on, to complete UC without saying "I want to give up" without giving up no matter how much it occured to me, no matter how tired I felt. UC - approx. 5.5km, average of 700 kicks - completed in about 5hr 26min.
"pa-ace!"
Supposedly to be a 2 days-1night camp but the actual highlight of UC was the run which the group completed in 5hours 26 minutes. Oh yes, my group is called Hwarang(Click to find out what's that).
21st Sept
Training was as per normal and we celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival after training with mooncakes, sparklers and games.
22nd Sept
We did PT first thing in the morning and then carried on to breakfast. After breakfast we played some light games and continued to lunch and then watched a korean movie called "Spin Kick". Like the title suggests, it is a tkd movie.
After the movie, the UC run started. We were to put on sparring padding and helmet plus carry a handmitt with us. We ate bananas, did some warm up and stretching and soon the run begin. We jogged up to Nanyang house via the long flight of stairs we used for UC trainings and ran down the slope, went around SRC compound and reached our first station which I believe to be at the carpark where the professors live.
Station one included doing 30 push-up, sit-up, burpees at one lamp post, 20 of each at the next and 10 at the third. Part of my bao-bei shoes' sole came off and I was quite disturbed by it. After which, we continue to run all the way to NIE, running up another flight of stairs along the way. The first station was alreday tiring and I wondered how I was going to complete the run since my stamina is so lousy. That thought kept occuring to me.
Station two was a foot work station. We were required to complete a set of footwork along the stretch. Station 2 was also where we had our water point. I didn't dare drink too much water, being afraid that a stitch will work in. After the not very long water break, we continue to jog to ADM building for our third station.
Station three was a kicking station. We did 30 of each of the kicks on both legs. Short turning stomach level, short turning head level, long turning stomach level, long turning head level, short slamming, long slamming, slide in turning, side step turning. Thats what I can remember. In my opinion, that was the most tiring station. My mouth was really dry and I felt exhausted. Although station three is not a water point, I was really glad that we were given water to drink. Water indeed taste good at that time! Soon after, we carried on to jog up the slope at the edge of hall 2 all the way to LT1 near NY Audi. Totally felt like walking up the slope but we were reminded that if we walk, our friends behind us will suffer. I think that was some sort of motivation, to know that I am not the only one feeling tired.
Station four was a sparring session. I think that this was an interesting station. First we got into groups of 5 and 4 people will surround one person. The 4 will start to shout kicks and hold out handmitts and the centre person is suppose to perform the kick. That is really something new to me and I think it is a good way to train reaction. The second part, we were to do rotation sparring. During the course, I kicked a white belter, who may be taller but obviously appear thinner, she fell and slid along the tiles. Yes, I reflected and felt sorry. Even with padding on I think I should practise caution while sparring with a person new to sparring. Still feeling bad over it although she claimed that she was alright. Nevertheless, sparring was a tiring event. Just as good as sprinting 100m again and again. After the session we had our water break and there were water coolers around. Cold and nice water. Even so, I still went to the sink to drink due to the long queue. Kept telling myself to control my water intake... sip slowly. We continued on to station five running downslope this time to some open space car park near the cultural centre (not sure if that's the name).
When we reached station five, it was already dark. Station five is another kicking station. However this station coordinates our footwork and kicking techniques. The lot was split into two - kickers and holders. The holders were to form two spaced out lines, each row facing a different direction. From there the kickers will performed a series of kicks while running down the two rows. 3 sets each leg of low turning, 2 sets each leg of slamming and another 3 sets each side of low turning follwed by slamming whereby the holders will alternate themselves in the way they hold the handmitt. That's what I can remember in my half-drowsy state. Yes, I was half-drowsy by then. I took off my shoes and socks during the front part, afraid that my shoe will come off halfway, and that was a mistake. It caused me blisters on both my feet so I decided to put on my shoes for the rest of the kicks. By that time, I believe everyone was really exhausted. We were motivated by being asked "Who is this challenge for?" and I think we all answered "For myself!" Finishing that station and sharing among the lot, the little water we were given, we continue to jog or at least attempt at jogging upslope back to SRC area.
We reached the slope of Nanyang house and we were asked to sprint up the slope to complete the run for UC and reach the finale. Guess what the finale was? Haha. We are suppose to break planks. The sprint was terrible... I believe I didn't even sprint. My legs felt leaded already and I think the most I did was to run. Reached the top of the slope, I think I cannot even focus my sight already. Saw someone holding a plank. Did a long turning kick with my right. First kick and the plank broke. I was really proud of myslef. Perhaps to many it was no great feat but that was my first time trying to break a plank and I did it in my first attempt, one kick, the plank broke. I completed UC!!!
Maybe it didn't take as serious a toll on my body as when I joined Race Adventura when I had very bad muscle cramps. Probably I have learnt how to prepare my body better for a physically demanding activity. But I guess the difference is that, I think I truly felt motivated to carry on, to complete UC without saying "I want to give up" without giving up no matter how much it occured to me, no matter how tired I felt. UC - approx. 5.5km, average of 700 kicks - completed in about 5hr 26min.
"pa-ace!"
what we could have been, 2:21 PM.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Goodbye My Lover -James Blunt
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Happen to hear this over the radio and thougt the lyrics sounded nice. So there goes.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Happen to hear this over the radio and thougt the lyrics sounded nice. So there goes.
what we could have been, 1:48 PM.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Ranting...
I was trying for main committee in tkd as a welfare assistant. I thought the interview went quite well and thought that I will have a chance. I was too complacent and totally gave up my chance to get into the main committee for Mountaineering Club. Thinking that if I so happen to get into the main comm for both, I would not be able to catch up with my academic work which I am already struggling with now, given my already poor 'A' Level grades.
In the end, I didn't get into the main committee for tkd. Though I have to agree that the girl who got the welfare assistant post deserves it, as she had been the vice president in her previous cca and she also has a really nice personality. The people selected in the main committee would have already been informed by sms. I didn't get an sms, so I already know I didn't get it. Yet, it came as a surprise as she was sitting beside and chatting with me when they announced the committee members. I didn't know she applied for it. However, thinking about it, I think her nice personality has shone through and hence she is deserving of that post.
So next year, I don't know if I will still be able to stay in hostel.
I think being selected into a main committee would reflect that your qualities are recognised. For I thought that I had commendable qualities being selected as prefect and in the main com back in secondary school, now I seriously have my doubts. Successfully being booted out of being selected into the main committee twice, and consecutively, my confidence is faltering... and faltering at a higer rate at this second time. I keep thinking that the fact lies not in my qualities not being recognised, but lies in that I have no quality. For the lost of faith in my confidence, I compare then and now, there is truth when I say, I am more afraid to stand out now, more afraid to voice my opinions. I don't want to turn into a silent mouse. I need a boot up in confidence... can someone help?
I was trying for main committee in tkd as a welfare assistant. I thought the interview went quite well and thought that I will have a chance. I was too complacent and totally gave up my chance to get into the main committee for Mountaineering Club. Thinking that if I so happen to get into the main comm for both, I would not be able to catch up with my academic work which I am already struggling with now, given my already poor 'A' Level grades.
In the end, I didn't get into the main committee for tkd. Though I have to agree that the girl who got the welfare assistant post deserves it, as she had been the vice president in her previous cca and she also has a really nice personality. The people selected in the main committee would have already been informed by sms. I didn't get an sms, so I already know I didn't get it. Yet, it came as a surprise as she was sitting beside and chatting with me when they announced the committee members. I didn't know she applied for it. However, thinking about it, I think her nice personality has shone through and hence she is deserving of that post.
So next year, I don't know if I will still be able to stay in hostel.
I think being selected into a main committee would reflect that your qualities are recognised. For I thought that I had commendable qualities being selected as prefect and in the main com back in secondary school, now I seriously have my doubts. Successfully being booted out of being selected into the main committee twice, and consecutively, my confidence is faltering... and faltering at a higer rate at this second time. I keep thinking that the fact lies not in my qualities not being recognised, but lies in that I have no quality. For the lost of faith in my confidence, I compare then and now, there is truth when I say, I am more afraid to stand out now, more afraid to voice my opinions. I don't want to turn into a silent mouse. I need a boot up in confidence... can someone help?
what we could have been, 4:33 PM.
