Seriously... I don't understand why recently the gossips I heard that isn't too pleasing to the ears always originate back to that gossip-monger. The things 58.71 said has caused some trouble for some.
I was pretty upset when i was told that 58.71 has made me one of her topics when she went overseas with a group of friends within our circle. (There were other things she did that wasn't very agreeable but it doesn't concern me directly and I shall not mention it in this entry.) Anyway, what was worse was that I heard that 58.71's source was one of my close friends. So I went to ask my close friend if he had told 58.71 about the things I had shared with him and had expected him to keep it to himself. So my close friend admitted that he did and he believed that 58.71 would not be the one spreading. I silently disagreed. I really treasured our friendship and that was the reason why I wanted to clarify and since he admitted and was apologetic, I wasn't too angry about it. However, somehow as appropriate as it may seem, it is a wrong move.
Little did I expect that my close friend actually went to ask 58.71 about that matter. 58.71 told him that she can guess who was the one that leaked about her broadcasting business to me. So that was what my close friend told me and I thought there's nothing much I can comment. Happily, I thought this merry-go-round would just stop there. Alas! What more exciting could have came up than having 58.71 complaining about the person who had leaked her and the person who had leaked her got reprimanded. And now it felt like my fault that I went to clarify matters with my close friend. I strongly felt that the sound wave should just stop and I shall not let it continue. So i decided to keep mum but unfortunately I finally exploded to my closefriend about the merry-go-round issue. Sadly, now I feel that I am no longer as close to that "close friend" anymore.
Today, yet again, I've got news that 58.71 leaked info about our teams to a friend from an outside club of mine. I really didn't want my outside friend to know just yet that I may be competing with him this time. I wanted to keep it a surprise or perhaps to let him know when I'm ready to do so. Now I don't have the chance, thanks to the spoiler!
what we could have been, 9:41 PM.
Guess what is going through my head and making me upset recently is very unreasonable and immature. I hate the current me... so emo, always crying and feeling upset. Where did the happy-go-lucky went to?
Because of all this rubbish, I think people start to dislike me. And so I start to dislike them even more too. Think: am I being unfairly treated or is it that I only think I am unfairly treated and that's not the case.
Was 12's msn nick directed at me because she so happened to see my post yesterday. Or worse? It was directed at him because something I didn't know happened. If only I could stop being over-sensitive and forming scenarios out of nothing, think I will be happier.
I want to get back to that happy me!!! I always thought break-up would be the solution but then how can i tide through it?
what we could have been, 12:14 PM.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Why does she deserve to be coached by you when she seems so reluctant to coach me? Why does she deserve to have you ask her down for
our trainings when she doesn't even bother holding any for me?
She seems like she doesn't want to help when I initiated and requested for
trainings. I really need to do something if I really want to compete. And who else closer can I look for to help other than you? Must I be the one to supress my emotions and force myself to concentrate. There really is no other way if I really want to train isn't it.
What justifies her to come to join us in trainings if she's disrupting me on top of not wanting to help? Why do you have to make things awkward and put me in a spot?
what we could have been, 6:20 PM.